QUOTE (Inkslinger @ Apr 15 2008, 12:10 PM)

So, basically, a restaurant that has a reservations system that doesn't work effectively (it's a tedious process; you're asked to log in, post your credit card info, it takes a long time and then you're only shown the current week and not even the next 7 days), i.e. there's no regard whatsoever for customer convenience, is worthy of 4 stars? Why not also just have people line up at the door, and make it cafeteria style? Who needs the comfort of servers and hostesses?
To think all this time, restaurateurs were wasting money with white tablecloths and 4-star training, just to impress the critics, when they could have just all been Soup Nazis.

oh ! was that review REAL ?? i didn't bother to read it of course (get serious) but i had assumed just from the title it was some kind of frustrated parody or some shit.
i mean like for example--
when i was in high school, the teachers accidentally put me in this "regular" English class, instead of the AP-English/Lit class i had requested the prior year. and so at first i was all

cuz i thought they were trying to tell me i wasn't smart enough to get into the class with all my other five BFF's (who all scored in the top 16 of our graduating class thank you very much-- one was even valedictorian and the other was saludatorian)
anyways. so here i am in this "regular" average class-- and the "course load" was nothing short of retarded i tell you. we were studying SPELLING and VOCABULARY i shit you not. (SPELLING i said, mutherfukkers. in HIGH SCHOOL. i was my grammar school spelling bee champion for fuck's sake)
yah so. every week was spelling/vocab exams, and needless to say, i was always the first one finished. well
the other kids (alls the MOST POPULAR ones, granted. i mean, don't get me wrong, i was kinda "popular" in HS too-- but for reasons OTHER than being a cheerleader or jock or slut who gave out blowjobs and smoked behind the bleachers) noticed this
and so right away they alls tried to ingratiate themselves to me so they could cheat off my paper.
and so i let them every week cuz i honestly didn't give a shit.
until one week, this girl i DIDN'T like sat behind me. and she actually had the GALL to tap me on my shoulder and ask me to scoot over in my seat a wee bit so she could see better.
and so i did. i scooted ALLS THE WAY OVER as far as i could and placed my test sheet waaaaay on the outer edge of the desk so she could have ample view like wide open plains an'shit.
and i looked over at Teacher (who had her face buried in some other nonsense. an issue of
Cosmo maybe, the fuck i know) waiting for her to glance up and notice all her Teachings were really for naught.
but she never did.
but then-- all the idiots in the class suddenly scored 97's 98's 100's and whatnot. and so Teacher finally figured the whole sordid scandal out.
ahahaa get this-- they called my moms in OUT OF WORK and told her to come to school cuz they had an issue with me, "for cheating on exams."
needless to say, moms was LIVID and came down to the principal's office to kick my sorry ass.
then they had to admit to her "okay well, it wasn't abbe cheating
per se. but she was an 'enabler' and thus quite responsible..."
hahahahahahhaa moms let those old crotchety nuns have it, she bitched them out a fierce one all right. it was awesome !

obviously, they promptly transferred me to AP-English/Lit.
in any case, my point is:
i thought
adam-platt gave out those 4 stars cuz he was totally frustrated with being a manipulated whore already. as in: like, i thought alls the big PR guns went and muscled him into coddling their faves as usual. y'know, something along the lines of: "you KNOW you gots to toss our boy
chang's salad, yes? cuz you KNOW your fucking paycheck depends on it, yes? any dumb typing monkey fuck willing to chill in OUR playground would kill to be in your cushy cubicle, mutherfukker..."
and so platt was all: yes yes i get it i get it. i HEAR YOU bitches.
and so then he was all "toss his salad? i'll toss that little pork dumpling's mutherfukking salad all right."
BOOM. four stars. "take THAT bitches! now whatever tiny shred of credibility we had left will be GONE FOREVER, and you will never ever ever be able to treat me as your $10 blowjob hooker ever ever again!"
no seriously. that's what i thought the dealie was. i almost (hysterically) respected him for a second there.
but now-- you tell me the review was actually really REAL ???
oh brother.
that's all i'm sayin.