[ http://nymag.com/daily/food/2008/11/food_n..._inexperie.html ]
and as much as i appreciate the sentiment or whatever, i just have to say: (thank you again, but) personally, i think the concept is utterly dumbtarded.
first of all, are these new places going to be opening in brooklyn or queens or something ? because the idea of any new restaurateur needing Resta'101 in MANHATTAN is totally fucking ridiculous. everybody knows one had better already have a masters in that shit, if not a PhD. (or ya know, you can always hire somebody like me. hahahahahaa)
secondly, so uh-- lemme get this straight, this dude is going to come here from TORONTO ?? and try to tell peoples how to succeed in NEW YORK ??
ha haa ahaa what is he going to do-- give them lessons in how to suck up to the "food media" ?? if so, he should just hook up with mediabistro and sell lessons at the Annex. even i would sign up and pay to see that shit.
oh HA that reminds me. did i mention how i totally "GOT IT" now ?? i see the unmistakeable pattern of "success" emerging right before my eyes.
apparently, this is how it works with the media and the chefs, in a nutshell:
- if you don't suck up to them, they hate you. and they will show you how much they hate you by ripping your wonderful work to shreds. and then when you get unjustly FIRED from your job for getting such bad reviews, they will feel guilty (everybody is afraid of karma, you see) so the very next place wherein you materialize with your spatula in your hand (and your tail between your legs and your laughable new paycheck crushed within your fist), they will PITY you and give you a ridiculous amount of press and hype and "stars," even if you're NOT significantly better at your new gig. in some cases, you might even be WORSE.
[see: ferguson, liebrandt, etc]
oh whoops. sorry, i digress.
anyhoo. in short, NO. i will not be recommending to anybody they go and apply or audition or whatever for this silly new food network show. sorry. but really, thank you again.
